Martin, 20 – Aarhus, Denmark

The 1st time I watched Skam, I watched 3 seasons in 2 days (season 4 beginning on the 3rd day). As soon as the last credits of season 3 had rolled by, I began to cry. Not the kind of silent, single-tear crying that people like me do at the drop of a hat, but the kind of into-a-pillow-so-your-roommate-doesn’t-hear-you ugly crying that I hadn’t experienced in 3½ years. For the next 20 minutes, I did nothing else.
When finished with the initial sobbing, I began to reflect over what had brought it on. The first reason, I realised, was loneliness. For a long time, I hadn’t been able to reach out to people when I felt awful. This had left me stuck, alone in my brain, with no-one to build word-bridges to.
The second reason was a feeling that I had, like Isak, not been living “free and real”. Since a truly horrible 2013, I had lived by a philosophy of keeping people at arm’s length, because letting them in would give them a chance to hurt you. But this has never been what I truly felt. I have always wanted to trust people with my heart, and to let myself love, but I had managed to suppress that for such a long time that it had begun to tear at my humanity.
So upon watching season three, with Isak going through much the same experience, and coming out on the other side a better person, the floodgates burst open, and I could no longer avoid facing the truth – that I had been lying to myself. During the next week or so, I began taking care of my appearance, I vowed to begin actively pursuing romantic love, and I reached out to a friend for the first time in awfully long to let him share my burden.
God, it felt good. Today, just 3½ months later, I have a “greie” with the cutest guy, I am happy with how I look, I feel much more open towards my friends, and I feel like I’m much less afraid of being me. (While my story is quite like Isak’s, my inner development happens to mirror that of Sana.)
So to the entire crew, but especially Julie, Tarjei and Iman:
Takk for alt.